Only Two Weeks Left

Last Wednesday, Diana, one of the cheesemakers attempted to say goodbye to me. She only works on Wednesdays. She wouldn't be here this week and wasn't sure when I was leaving the following week. I refused to let her do so. It was a solid two weeks from my last day at that point. Too soon for goodbyes. At that moment, I immediately extended my stay for a day and assured everyone I would make the Wednesday after next my last day, as opposed to Tuesday.

I tried my best to forestall the inevitable, but merely three days later I was faced with my first last. It was my last Saturday helping out in the farm's cheese store followed by making cheese in the afternoon with Chris and Patrick. Saturday was immediately followed by a goodbye with Leslie in the cheese store on Sunday because the next weekend -- my last weekend -- I would be working the Connecticut wine festival. On top of that, I had to say goodbye that morning to Dianne, Mark's mother-in-law who has been kind enough to welcome me into her home to stay for the last three months. She was leaving on a two-week vacation and would not return before I left.

In total, I've had two lasts and two goodbyes this weekend and I'm not comfortable with it.

I've always been a nostalgic person, easily attached to people and places. Despite two years of misery working at a big law firm, I still look back at the fun moments and the accomplishments. Oh Nostalgia. It's much much worse when I actually like something.

I always remember how terrified I was on my last day of high school when my English teacher said something that freaked the hell out of me. "Soon you will be saying goodbye to people you will never see again." (Note that this was an era before Facebook).  For those of you who went to super sized public high schools, that statement would seem pretty obvious. I, however, went to a small private all-girls Catholic school with 60 people in my class. I knew everyone's names, most people's middle names, and sordid details about almost all of them. Granted not everyone was my best friend; I'm sure that the rest of the class didn't blink at the prospect presented by my teacher. For me, the thought rocked my world. I didn't want to imagine never seeing someone with whom I'd spent 75% of the last 4 years of my waking hours...regardless of whether they sucked or not. 

Since then, I've always had trouble saying goodbye to people and phases of my life, especially if I'm not sure when I will revisit them.  I've had a particularly difficult time parting with people and places that highlight important phases of my growth and individuality -- high school was one, shockingly law school was as well, cheesemaking at Cato Corner is the latest.

I know I have a lot of learning left in my journey before I reach my final destination on cheesy street. But I've really come to love what I do on a daily basis on the farm. I've even come to love Connecticut -- slow state highways, the occasional waspy attitude, terrible drivers, and all. Sure there are days when getting to work in the morning is a struggle. And sometimes I've really needed and enjoyed my days off. Still, I really love making cheese, learning about cheese, and working with the people here.

This isn't my good bye to Cato Corner post. It's too soon for that! I've just been smacked in the face with the amazing opportunities I've had here and the great people I've met. I'm just being prematurely nostalgic.

On a lighter note, I truly believe the answer to this question should be C. (Click on the small thumbnails for any picture on this site in order to see the enlarged version.).