Rockin' Around the Christmas Cheese

I get buck wild for Christmas season for many reasons. One, the lights and shiny things. Two, the generous, giving spirit. Three, the food. Four, the classic cartoons, movies, and television specials. Five, the warm blankets with warm drinks. Six, Santa.

Holiday destruction

I could go on. Now, in my recent station in the cheese world, I can add graft to the list. Okay so it's not really graft. But one of the nice things about my job this season is that as a merchandise buyer and thereby supporter of various small businesses and food producers, I receive the thanks-for-supporting-our-business presents that go out this time of year. So far that's amounted to chocolates--many chocolates, and one bottle of Italian wine from our mozzarella supplier.

Chocolate and wine, what a perfect pairing. That got me thinking: I like interesting food combinations (see post on doughnuts and cheese plate). I like Christmas, and we know I love cheese. I wonder if there are ways to combine all these things I love so much.

I took this hypothetical world of Christmas cheese pairings to a new creative level -- and by creative I mean outlandish ways to bring cheese into the Christmas mix. I haven't tried all of these out, so some might be an epic fail. I don't have the pocketbook or the stomach capacity to try out all these pairings at once, but I intend to slowly do some reconnaissance for future Christmases. Feel free to try them out yourself and give me feedback...or yell at me for making you combine these things in your mouth.

I'm a firm believer that there are no strict rules to pairings. Yes, some things work better than others. But flavor perception is all a matter of preference, biology and experience. So while some of these might sound disgusting, indulge me for the sake of those with twisted palates and/or an overabundance of Christmas spirit.

First I tried to list as many singularly holiday items as possible:
Gingerbread, Fruit Cake, Egg Nog, Candycanes/Peppermint Bark or Mint related items, Frosted Holiday Cookies, Hot Chocolate and/or Fudge, Mulled Wine (aka Glugg or Glogg), Wassail, Figgy Pudding.

Gingerbread:
One style of cheese could easily be left out of the holiday cheer is the washed rind, or stinky, cheese. The pungent, sometimes bitter or abrasive flavors and odors of a stinky cheese seem out of place with yuletide joy. But I'm not willing to place a cheese on the naughty list, so I'm going out on a limb and saying gingerbread might hold up to a good washed rind. The mild sweetness would complement the pungency (which is how dessert wines and blue cheeses hold up so well together), and the spicy ginger may behave like the tongue-tingling hops in an IPA beer (which is a washed rind's favorite beer pairing friend). You could also work with an approachable washed rind like Gubbeen, or a creamier Reblochon. On the more adventurous, stinkier side, I'd try Epoisses, Tallegio, Meadowcreek's Grayson, or a creamy, fatty Hooligan from Cato Corner's winter milk.

Fruitcake:
This one is pretty easy because fruitcake carries a very similar flavor profile to various fruit-nut loaves and crackers that are traditionally sold as cheese accouterments. Typically these sorts of fruity and sweet items go best with sharp cheddars that have citrusy, pineapple notes or Alpine cheeses with mild fruity and caramel profiles. Try Montgomery Cheddar from Neal's Yard, or an extra aged cheddar from domestic producers like Shelburne, Grafton or Cabot. On the milder Alpine style, I would go with something like a Tarentaise (domestic), an imported Beaufort or an older Gruyere.

Egg Nog:
How do you combine dairy with dairy? Is that like trying to get two positive sides of a magnet to touch? Of all the pairings, this one appears to carry the highest likelihood of failure, so I'm going to keep it simple. Ricotta with light honey. Done.

Mint Items/Candycanes:
With this Christmas item you want a creamy cheese that will complement the mint but disappear in the background. Something that will turn this into a scoop of mint milk shake in your mouth. Something like a triple cream brie. A soft or surface ripened cheese with any earthy, bitter, ammoniated or mushroomy notes would destroy the harmony. On the domestic side, Old Chatham's Nancy's Camembert might work, but avoid Camemberts with strong mushroom notes on the rind. You need a cheese that exists solely for the purity of its buttery, creamy lactose dance. A young Brillat-Savarin, Pierre Robert, or Nettle Meadow's Kunik (domestic) are possibilities.

Frosted Holiday Sugar Cookies:
This is tough because only in my twisted mind, or that of a mouse, would someone consider eating a cookie with cheese. One of my favorite sugary flavor partners is lemon. I think something sweet and citric would work here. I would keep it basic, a white stilton with lemon peel seems natural. That's a cheese that already tastes a little bit like dessert. I'm envisioning a lemon creme cookie in my mouth. A bit more risky would be a  Jarlsberg pairing -- plain and sweet, but saltier.

Fudge:
This pairing has a lot of variations depending on the type of chocolate. If the fudge has any kind of cherry, brandy, cordial or liqueur situation involved, it could accompany a creamy blue cheese very well, like Fourme d'Ambert or Cambozola; or anything washed in brandy or liqueur, like Rogue River Blue, an amazing domestic blue wrapped in grape leaves and washed with pear brandy. I've also seen cheddar in pairings with chocolate items (and Guinness, which is chocolatey). So a milk chocolate fudge might mix with a mild cheddar or Welsh Caerphilly. A darker fudge could also complement a Shropshire Blue (a combination of stilton and cheshire cheese). Think sweet and salty with this one. Or think fondue. Raclette and Gruyere also fit here.

Hot chocolate:
This might be trickier than fudge since we potentially have the same dairy on dairy problem as eggnog. Plus, the chocolate notes are usually much milder in powdered drink form. Maybe a salty choice with milder flavors like a Swiss cheese, say Emmenthaler. I would venture into some of the fudge pairings here just for fun as well...but not the blue cheese...I'm not a monster.

Mulled Wine/Glugg:
I've actually tried this pairing, so at least for me, it works. The main difference between Glugg and Wassail (mulled cider) comes down to the rich tannins from the red wine in Glugg versus the tartness from the citric fruits in Wassail. The spices in both call for a fairly mellow cheese that acts as a cheesy wallflower. Avoid too much saltiness. The richness of Glugg allows for a heartier barnyard flavor from a sheepy, sweet Ossau Iraty, a pairing that I thoroughly enjoyed. Aged Gouda or Tomme de Savoie and its earthiness could also carry some weight here.

Wassail:
Lemon, citric or lactic are words that seem to fit this holiday item. The apple cider nature of wassail signals a traditional apple-cheddar pairing, but I would be worried that the saltiness may be too much since Wassail is more tart and not as sweet as pie. Something with a touch of sweet citric flavor but less salt is needed -- Mimolette perhaps (the colors would match at least). Or a mild, fruity cheese like Comte matches up well. This might also be a great place for a fresh goat cheese to make an appearance. A lemony mild fresh chevre -- perhaps infused with a touch of flavor like Rollingstone's domestic Orange Zest and Pecan Chevre -- on an oat biscuit sounds like a party.

Figgy Pudding:
This is the archetype for the salty and sweet harmony. Sweet figs with blue cheese is one of my favorite pairings. A hearty blue would work well here, especially if the figgy bread pudding is soaked in any kind of booze. A fruity cheddar would also work. Salt and bold flavors are welcome here. Pecorino could be a risky move that pays off. I also welcome the idea of smoked or meaty cheeses here to go with the sweet, booziness. Idiazabal would probably mix well. I recently had Uplands' Rush Creek Reserve, a smoked-meat flavored, scoop-me-with-a-spoon, bark-wrapped, washed delight that almost brought tears of joy to my eyes. As a winter treat that comes around just in time for the holidays, Rush Creek or it's model, Vacherin Mont d'Or, are perfect Christmas cheeses. While some may say these two cheeses are so good that enjoying the cheese on its own is best, I can't think of any cheese pairing that would bring me more Christmas joy than figgy pudding next to a cheese that tastes like cured meat.

And that's the point of these Christmas pairings, really. To appreciate the variety of things that we love coming together...which I suppose is the point of Christmas itself. Happy Holidays to all, and to all, a cheese-filled night.