Cheese School!

When I started telling people about my new plan, I was concerned that they would judge me as an irrational twenty-something who just couldn't hack it. Truth be told, there were a few people who grilled me with a tone of judgmental expectation of my failure. You know, the patronizing, "you just need more experience with the world" type line that you heard a lot when you were twelve and said you wanted to be the next Michael Jordan. But thankfully, I can count the haters on just one hand.

Still, maybe going to school for my love of cheese would make my plan sound more practical? Who's gonna hate on education?!

I had already planned to attend cheese school in Vermont because I knew it was necessary to give me the background I needed for my cheesemaking apprenticeships. But as a bonus, I thought saying I "took classes" for my new career endeavor would show people I was serious. I enrolled in the Basic Cheesemaking Certificate program at the University of Vermont's Institute for Artisan Cheese in Burlington, Vermont. It was a two-week program. So I took a week of vacation to try the the first week in February. The timing was a good way to try out my cheese plan in its nascent stages. Turns out I liked it! Confident in wanting to proceed with the cheese journey, I took the second week of classes in April.

Previously in school, I kept myself distracted by subjects like sociology, print journalism, and law, which I found fascinating but that couldn't quite offer me an outlet for my energy. I wanted something a little more kinetic and independent, and a little less rife with the politicking of newsrooms and law offices. I honestly can't think of many work environments more kinetic and less political than a cheese room. Maybe a petting zoo?

During the first day introductions, I felt like the class' token cliche. Let's start off introducing ourselves! "Tell us where you're from, if you're making cheese, how you found us, if you're getting milk from your own animals.... or if you're just a lawyer looking for a career change." Well crap! Not only are they on to my scheme because I'm obviously not the first, but my background does sound as trite as I think it does! I wanted to lie and say I had a farm with goats, or cows, or hell even squirrels ...and was making delicious...squirrel-milk cheese.....? Yeah, that wasn't going to work.

"Umm I stumbled on VIAC through creative internet research. I'm originally from Kansas (the hell if I was gonna start off being that lawyer, much less that DC lawyer. I figured softening the blow with Midwest charm would help.). Now I live in DC, where I'm a *cough* lawyer whohatesbeingalawyer. Oh and I like eating cheese. OK, who's next!"

Eventually I did feel as though I had my own identity, not as a law burnout, but as someone who was just following their passion. I found it somewhat amusing, however, that I was pegged as the cheese lawyer who would help my some of my classmates in setting up their cheesemaking operations. How many times do I have to say I don't want to be a lawyer! I guess there are worse things than being thought of as a cheese lawyer. Hey, at least someone appreciates my degree!

The first few days of cheese school were a bit rough and overwhelming. The lectures immediately jumped into pH curves, casein structure, and titratable acidity. I started to question what I was doing. My head was spinning. I thought my high school AP chemistry teacher would bust through the door any second. Teased hair, long clicky finger nails, crusty makeup and all. Thankfully she didn't. The instructors were wonderful and very patient in explaining everything clearly.

The anxiety passed. After the second day, I started to feel more comfortable with the subject matter. It seems like the answer is always pH!

Science isn't my forte, but I do remember enjoying chemistry. If the subject incorporates an item you love, it's pretty easy to get excited about it. I started to get really interested in the science behind how milk turns to cheese. The highlight of the first week was seeing all the chemistry come together in the cheese room and participating in making a batch of cheese. There is nothing more unappetizing than seeing a class of twenty people shove their hands into the cheese vat and feel around in the curd that eventually forms a block of cheese. Despite seeing that first hand, I still love eating cheese.

I enjoyed my classmates and learned a lot from them about food, dairy farming, legislation affecting small farmers, and the economics of cheese production. As is my nostalgic style, I became quite attached to my classmates and to the city of Burlington within a few days. When I came back for the second week of classes, I was a little sad I couldn't transport the same group of people back with me. For the second set of classes in April it wasn't as frigid as it had been in February. It allowed me to explore the town and eat A LOT of maple sugar cotton candy. I fell in love with Burlington, and its cotton candy, even more.

My favorite class was the Sensory Evaluation class held on the final day. If I really concentrated, I could find notes of fruit, nuts, meat, and caramel in a cheese.  Before, I thought people used those descriptions because they were pretentious jerks. But it's there I promise! Sensory evaluation is fascinating, important for marketing and sales purposes, and apparently requires continuous training and practice. I hope "practice" means continuing to eat a crapload of cheese and keeping a cheese journal with highly accurate descriptions like "smells like a goat's butt." If so, I'm one step ahead of the game.

I visited several cheesemakers while I was in Vermont. I didn't find the perfect apprenticeship fit in the first few places I visited, but I met some great people and got my first taste for what a cheesemaking apprenticeship would be like. At first cheese school was a little demoralizing. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing. But I got through the tough parts, re-kindled my passion, ate some great cheese, and met some great people. It was a good start to my cheese journey and a good wake-up call that it won't always be easy on Cheesy Street.

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